Some of the sexiest things you can do alone aren’t necessarily sexual—but they can still get you horny. Like fingering, which involves caressing your clitoris with your fingers and then rubbing and applying different pressures to see what feels good—and ultimately, gets you orgasmic.
Other erogenous zones include your neck, nipples, and earlobes. Or try a new sexual position—like lying on your back for more access to your anus or nipples.
Masturbation is the self-stimulation of your genitals or other areas of the body for pleasure and sexual gratification. It’s a very common practice for people of all genders and ages, and it can help you learn about your body and what makes you tick sexually. It can also lead to climax (orgasm).
If you’re not sure where to start, try listening to sensual music or reading erotica while you play with yourself. You can also try using a sex toy or rubbing your penis with varying pressures. You can even stroke up and down your anus or nipples to see what feels good.
And remember that masturbation is totally okay, no matter what your relationship status is. It’s a great way to learn about your body, and it doesn’t increase your risk for an STD if you use lubricant to minimize discomfort. If masturbation becomes compulsive or excessive, you may need to talk to a counselor or therapist about it.
2. Take a Break
Taking a break from masturbating can be a fun way to explore other turns-ons. Try out a vibrator or dildo, and see what sensations you can find. (Just be sure to always use a condom.)
If music is your thing, make a playlist that gets you going. Listening to sensual tunes can be a major aphrodisiac. You could also try edging, which involves pulling back right before you orgasm to keep the sensation going for longer. (It’s not for the faint of heart.)
Create a sex bucket list of all the erotic things you want to try. It’s totally normal for your sexual preferences to shift over time, so add new ideas as you think of them. It’s also a great idea to take a look at your sexy bucket list from time to time to see what’s changed. (Cheesy but fun.)
Sexting—the digital sending of sexually explicit images and videos, usually via text message—is a fun way to explore fantasies with someone you love. Just make sure to set boundaries and go at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. It’s also best to keep in mind that sexts can be shared with others (not just the person you’re sexting) and they can be saved on their devices or in online cloud storage services for later viewing. This makes sexting less than ideal for new relationships or those who are already in long-term commitments.
Sexting with a platonic friend can be just as fun. If you want to take it a step further, try having them read you erotica out loud and see if they can handle it without their eyes roving around the room. Just be sure to use a watermark, or mark your photo with an image, before you send it so that they can’t crop out any details that might identify you as the person in the photo.
4. Do Some Yoga
As we grow and change, our sexual desires will ebb and flow. Create a sex bucket list (you can call it your pleasure bucket list, if you want) and add or remove ideas as you feel inclined. For example, if you’ve always wanted to try marathon masturbation and your current feelings aren’t in line with that idea, just ditch it from the list!
Yoga is a great way to get in touch with your body and breath. It also increases your awareness of sensation and makes it easier to move your body in ways that are arousing. Plus, a recent study found that doing yoga regularly can prevent premature ejaculation.
If you’re a beginner, start with a simple plank pose and work your way up to a harder pose like cobra. Also, try lizard pose — this poses will strengthen your core and hips while helping you to release any stagnant energy surrounding sex.
5. Go Naked
Whether it’s in your own backyard, at your parents’ house or at a public beach, swinging is an intimate and erotic experience. Plus, it’s super-fun with a partner.
Try a new kink together. There are tons of ideas out there—from rubbing latex against each other to wearing vibrating panties in public. Find one you both love, and do it!
If you don’t feel like getting naked, try bondage. Basically, you hold on and rock back and forth—with some good music playing. It can be a relaxing way to get intimate and is also a great masturbation alternative.
Don’t be afraid to revise your sex bucket list as often as you change your sexual preferences. Your list can be as short or long as you want it to be, and adding (or deleting) things will make your relationship even more exciting. Plus, it’s a great conversation starter.
6. Take a Bath
Whether it’s in a sexy hotel pool or your own inflatable backyard number, a dip can boost blood flow to the erogenous zones and help you get in the mood. Try experimenting with music while you’re in the tub, too. Music is a proven aphrodisiac, and you might discover some songs that get you going especially hard.
You could also try stacking a bunch of different sexual buildups on top of each other, like having an enema and then masturbation, suggests Gabi Levy, a sexpert and founder of the erotic story platform Shag Story. You’ll want to make sure you have the right protections in place, though.
You might even consider having sex in the ocean, Levy says. Besides the sexy factor, the motion can stimulate you in ways that your bed or shower can’t. Just remember that the water will wash away your natural lubricant, so be sure to bring some extra.